Most men are silently drowning in lives they don’t like and that don’t make sense.

They wake up tired, disconnected, unmotivated, and unsure what they’re working towards, and why. They did what they thought was right to keep the peace, yet here they are, burned out and no closer to freedom.

If that sounds like familiar, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been lied to.

This is How to Survive Life, a newsletter and podcast built for men who want to see through the bullshit and want something real. No sugarcoating and no pop-psychology fluff. Just truth, critical thinking, and the tools to build a life that feels real.

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• Weekly writing that cuts into what’s holding you back

• Unfiltered commentary on society, culture, and existence

• Insight from someone who spent 30 years in survival mode and managed to get out

• The clarity to see your life and your potential without distortion

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Sydney Sweeney appeared in an American Eagle jeans ad last week, and it triggered an avalanche of rage, envy, and ideological meltdowns. It wasn’t because the ad was particularly provocative or ground breaking, but because it pushed every possible cultural button at the same time without even trying. The one group that didn’t lose their minds though, was men.

Men saw a beautiful woman in a classic denim outfit and appreciated the simplicity. We might have even nodded with a little nostalgic approval before moving on with their lives.

But every other corner of society seemed to treat it like the cultural equivalent of a five-alarm fire, with each group projecting their own anxieties, frustrations, and grievances onto a few photos of Sydney posing in jeans.

The outrage came loud and fast and it came from all directions; from women who felt threatened, to activists who smelled political heresy, to feminists who saw betrayal of the sisterhood, to progressives who couldn’t stomach a white woman being celebrated.

This ad created a perfect illustration of where we are as a culture right now.

Women Mad

Most of the backlash came from women, many of who couldn’t hide their disdain, envy or discomfort. None of this was because Sydney Sweeney did anything inappropriate, but because her overt presence disrupted the fragile balance of a world that’s spent the last few decades trying to erase everything she represents.

Women aren’t upset this was an over the top explicit display of sexuality or because it somehow objectified her in a way that crossed some imaginary line. They’re upset because deep down this ad awakened something they were told no longer existed: that there’s a biological hierarchy, and that some women, whether through genetics or chance or evolution or luck, still hold a kind of effortless appeal that others simply don’t. This ad highlighted the inherent unfairness of life.

In those images, Sydney Sweeney didn’t scream for attention or beg for validation. She didn’t try to be more than she was, she just showed up looking feminine in a way that felt natural. For many women, this is an emotional gut punch that reminds them men still respond to something primal, and that beauty, symmetry and femininity often win. More than a jeans ad, it was a mirror, and it reflected everything women have been taught to hate about themselves and of what men actually want.

Maybe the deeper issue here is that we live in a hyper sexualized world that constantly pushes women to show more skin, sell more fantasy, and seek more approval through digital exhibitionism. Yet at the same time, it paradoxically tells them that traditional beauty is oppressive, femininity is a social construct and that sex appeal should only count when it aligns with certain politics.

For the women who have spent their lives navigating this minefield of body-image pressure, conflicting messages about empowerment, and relentless social comparison, Sydney Sweeney didn’t appear as a model in jeans, she appeared as a walking breathing symbol of the war being waged inside their own minds. It’s understandable that they lashed out with frustration and anger.

When you’ve been told to love yourself exactly as you are, yet you’ve also been programmed to hate every inch of your body if it doesn’t look like the curated perfection of someone like Sydney, the obvious way to resolve that conflict is to attack the symbol of contradiction.

Which is exactly what they did.

Feminists Mad

For feminists, this ad is a kind of cultural regression. It’s a return to the gender roles they tried to kill, and affirms everything they’ve been working to destroy: femininity, sexual appeal, softness, tradition, and the idea that it’s OK to want to be desirable. And that’s probably why it hurts. The ad doesn’t just show a beautiful woman in jeans, it shows that being beautiful and desirable is still powerful, and it ignores decades of indoctrinating women to believe they’re oppressed by their own biology

This ad is offensive to feminists because it’s not asking for permission and doesn’t ask for validation. It doesn’t push an ideology; it just says in quiet confidence that being a woman, an actual feminine woman, is ok. And that drives them nuts.

Liberals Mad

For progressives, this ad is racist and exclusionary because it dares to exist without checking all the right boxes. Sydney is white. She’s blonde. She’s cute. She looks like the kind of girl liberals don’t want in mainstream society, because they’ve convinced themselves that celebrating white femininity is inherently oppressive.

They look at this ad and they say it’s too white, it’s too straight, and too normal.

They say it’s not inclusive and it promotes white supremacy. But where were their voices when Angel Reese did a Good American jeans campaign, or when Beyoncé partnered with Levi’s last year, or when J-lo was the face of Guess jeans? They were silent because when the model isn’t white, it’s empowering. But when she is, it’s problematic.

I shouldn’t have to say this but Liberals don’t want diversity, they want control, and liberals hate this ad because it reminds them that the average person still finds beauty in the things that Liberals demonize.

Marxists Mad

Marxists don’t just hate capitalism, they hate beauty, family, God, and anything that reminds people of natural hierarchies. This ad, without even trying, celebrates them all.

Sidney shows up looking good, in shape, and smiling. She’s sexual but not vulgar and feminine but not performative. These are all themes that Marxists want to erase from public life because it reminds people of things that actually matter rather than things that can be socially engineered or redistributed. It’s a quiet affirmation of order, biology, and traditional appeal. To ideologues who think Utopia requires destroying everything normal, that’s unacceptable.

For the Marxist crowd this wasn’t just a model in jeans; it was a threat to their revolution.

Activists Mad

The professional outrage machine kicked into high gear real fast. Activists called it fascist, racist, neo-Nazi, fat-phobic, capitalist, you name it. These days anything that doesn’t bend the knee to the woke agenda is labeled dangerous.

Activists have spent years bullying companies into submission, demanding representation for every fringe identity and punishing brands that don’t play along. But this ad gave them the finger and didn’t apologize. It didn’t over correct. It simply was, and that was enough to send them into an unhinged moral panic. Activists have never wanted equality. They’ve always wanted control and power, and this ad slipped through their fingers like sand

Conservatives Not Mad

For conservatives, this felt like a cultural moment worth noting. It wasn’t revolutionary, but it was familiar.

There was a time when ads featured people that we admired, people that we aspired to be, or people we wanted to date. There was a time when sex appeal wasn’t controversial, it was obvious and even fun.

But after a decade of watching morbidly obese activists in lingerie trying to redefine beauty, watching angry gender theorists scream at the sky, and watching corporations grovel for social justice points while bankrupting their own brands, something about this ad just felt…refreshing.

In 2025, seeing a pretty girl in blue jeans, not virtue signaling and just being, is an unexpected revelation.

American Eagle Isn’t Stupid

It’s obvious that American Eagle strategically planned this, and anyone who doesn’t see that is naïve. They knew exactly what they were doing. They knew the left would lose their minds, they knew the backlash would be immediate and insane, and they know the angriest people aren’t their customers.

American Eagle rage baited everyone, and it was brilliant, surgical, and highly effective. They played the culture war like a piano, and it worked.

The people who scream the loudest never even shop at American Eagle, yet the people who feel quietly seen and validated? They’re the ones who will buy more jeans.

The Only Question That Seems To Matter: Is Sydney Sweeney Mid?

There’s been a lot of talk online about whether Sydney Sweeney is Mid, and that label, like most things on the Internet, completely misses the point. She’s not a goddess or a supermodel and that’s exactly the appeal.

She’s the girl next door you actually might believe exists. She’s wholesome enough to take to Christmas dinner, hot enough to make your friends jealous, homely enough to imagine as a mom, and sexy enough to keep your attention forever. She checks almost every box that matters, and she’s real enough to feel familiar. In today’s world, that might just be the perfect combination

So is Sydney Sweeney Mid?

If she is, then she might be the greatest Mid of all time.

I didn’t marry my ex-wife for love - I married her because we shared trauma.

Let me explain.

I had a lot of things go bad during my childhood, and I hit adulthood hating myself with venom and disgust. I blamed my parents for my misery because… that’s what immature 20-somethings do until they figure it out. But mainly I blamed them because it was convenient. I didn’t understand the profound effects of the complex trauma I had experienced as a kid or where it came from, and because my parents were always there in my youth, I figured it was probably their fault.

Turns out, it wasn’t their fault though. Far from it. They did the best job they could with limited experience, and somehow, they sent me out into the world with more promise and potential than their parents had given them.

Good job, mom and dad.

My promise and potential marinated itself with a general resentment towards life, and that uncertain, soupy mess sent me traveling around the world a couple times. Eventually it led me to a secluded island in Thailand called Ko Lanta.

Maybe fittingly, I met my ex-wife in a place I was looking for escape: on a beach.

My Ex-wife

She had a similar childhood to me, filled with pain, rejection, and self-hatred. When we met, I subconsciously recognized that in her, though I didn’t understand it at the time of course.

We spent those first days and weeks bonding over our shared hatred of conformity, and the different ways we wanted to escape society. We used each other as a kind of crutch, trying to heal wounds we didn’t know existed and couldn’t fully understand. In hindsight, I realize we were both looking for someone to repair what was fractured inside us, rather than a partner to build a healthy relationship.

This is how I ended up married with three kids. Two broken people, unable to fix ourselves, desperately trying to make each other whole. In reality though, the more we tried, the more we unknowingly fed into each other’s pain and dysfunction.

Romance is a lie

As a society, we’re conditioned to believe that love is the pure foundation of a successful relationship. In a few cases, maybe that’s true. But most of the time, relationships are built on trauma, codependency and a need for external validation. We look for someone who fills the gaps, who brings us a sense of comfort or familiarity, and who overlooks or reflects the toxic patterns and emotional baggage we carry.

Hollywood romance movies lie about this to sell tickets. They show us fairy tale visions of relationships that don’t represent human nature or reality. These (mostly garbage) stories perpetuate the fantasy that love conquers all obstacles, and that a deep emotional connection is a magical cure for every problem. Romantic love doesn’t overcome anything though - it’s a temporary feeling so we make babies.

The real insight

Here’s the harsh truth: the love you think you’re building with your partner is probably not love at all. In all likelihood, it’s a trauma bond, which is when two people come together because they’re drawn to each other’s emotional pain rather than their healing. The connection feels deep, real, and intense, but it’s just two broken people feeding off each other’s pain.

The problem with trauma bonds is that they’re inherently unstable. These bonds don’t provide the nurturing, mutual growth that healthy relationships do. Instead, they amplify each person’s insecurities and unmet emotional needs. What starts as a connection built on shared trauma can easily turn into a toxic cycle of manipulation, emotional neglect, and emotional abuse.

Get Yourself Mentally Healthy

It doesn’t matter if you're single or married. You can learn to escape bad relationships and avoid them before they even begin. The key is working on solving your personal issues and deficiencies before committing to marriage. Your marriage won’t solve your problems; it will only magnify them.

When life feels off, it’s time to turn inward. For years, my life felt like something was wrong, and it only worsened after I got married. I went from being miserable to feeling suicidal. After being married for 10 years, I distinctly remember a night when I was somewhat drunk and realized: if I didn’t make a conscious choice to heal and grow, I wouldn’t be alive much longer. I also knew that I’d be doing it alone, without support, and felt a gut-punch that this decision would likely cost me my marriage. That was the first step in honestly facing my toxic relationship and admitting that while I couldn’t heal my ex-wife’s pain, I had the power to heal myself.

Rebuild yourself: Healing starts with you. My wounds ran deep, and I spent the last 8 years being single and working relentlessly on healing. Thankfully, that work has paid off, and I’ve completely resolved my childhood trauma and the pain it caused. I’m a self-starter and did it through journaling, research, and with the help of a few amazing books on trauma recovery. (Links are below.)

Realize that you can’t free yourself from dysfunctional relationships until you address your own emotional wounds. Whether through therapy, introspection, or self-help practices, you need to heal the parts of yourself that were drawn to the dysfunction in the first place.

Protect your children. If you have children, their emotional well-being must be your top priority. Shield them from the toxic dynamics of your relationship. Create a stable, emotionally supportive environment for them to grow and thrive, free from the manipulation and chaos that comes from living in a broken home. Children raised in emotionally turbulent environments need reassurance. Help them understand that they are not the cause of the problems, that their feelings are valid, and that they are deserving of love and stability.

Set clear boundaries. Whether you’re still in the relationship or separated, establishing boundaries is essential to protect both you and your children from further emotional harm. These boundaries might be physical, emotional, or even legal, depending on your situation. Your ex might call these boundaries manipulative, abusive, or controlling. Ignore it. Boundaries are a necessary part of protecting your mental health and well-being.

Final Thought

A lot of men need healing, not a relationship.

I was a wedding photographer for 10 years and shot nearly 200 weddings. By observing people through a camera lens for thousands of hours, I became very good at reading body language and understanding social dynamics.

I would also get to know the couples pretty well, so by the time their wedding day came, I had a strong sense of their relationship dynamics. Out of all those marriages, I remember exactly three couples where I knew they would end up happy together. Three. Out of 200.

Most of the couples I saw had fundamental differences that would likely tear them apart, and with about half of them, I could see the disdain they had for each other before the marriage even began.

Healing and growth are hard, but they are the only paths to freedom. The work you do on yourself, the boundaries you set, and the way you protect your children will not only change your life but will ultimately guide you toward healthier relationships in the future. The journey isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

Remember, you are not defined by your past, your mistakes, or the chaos you’ve experienced. You can rewrite your story. But it starts with taking ownership of your own healing. Only then can you build the life and relationship you want.

Take the first step. Start healing now, for you and for those you love.

Books I recommend for trauma healing:

Whole Again by Jackson Mackenzie

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Embracing Shame by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin

I used to believe that paying taxes was just part of being a responsible citizen. Roads need maintenance, schools need funding, and social programs help people who need it. But after constantly getting 25% deducted off the top of my check, and then paying sales tax, gas tax, property tax and the other three dozen taxes we get hit with, I started to question: why does it feel like the more I pay, the worse everything gets? Why does the money I work hard for vanish into a black hole, while the government squanders trillions on corruption, fraud, and waste?

The reality is that taxation isn’t about funding necessary services. It’s about control. It’s about coercion. It’s about taking half of my time, half of my effort, and half of my working life while giving me very little in return.

The Real Problem: Taxation Is Legalized Theft and Slavery

The government takes your money by force. If you refuse, they fine you. If you resist, they imprison you. If you fight back, they come with guns. This isn’t a voluntary exchange. It’s extortion with a fancy name.

Worse though, they don’t just take your money. They take your most valuable resource: your time. Every dollar you earn represents hours of your life that you’ll never get back. When they steal half your income, they’re stealing half your waking existence. You’re working as a part-time slave to fund bureaucrats, corrupt politicians, and special interest groups that don’t care about you and never will.

And what do you get in return? Crumbling infrastructure, broken schools, massive inflation, and more and more new taxes and fees. They take more, deliver less, and tell you it’s for your own good.

Where Does Your Money Actually Go?

If taxes were actually about funding the essentials, we’d have pristine roads, world-class education, and healthcare that actually worked. Instead, your money goes to places that favor governments and punish you:

Fraud and Waste – Billions of dollars disappear every year due to government inefficiency, mismanagement, and outright fraud.

Bloated Bureaucracies – Government agencies are like cancer. They grow and multiply and the bigger they get, the more they consume while exploiting the host (you) and producing nothing of value.

Corporate Bailouts – When big businesses fail due to incompetence, your tax dollars rescue them. You pay for their mistakes while they keep their profits.

Endless Wars – Trillions are spent on foreign conflicts that have nothing to do with your safety or freedom. Meanwhile, war-torn veterans come home and are left to suffer.

Corrupt Politicians & Pet Projects – Politicians funnel your money into pet projects and insider deals that only benefit their donors and friends.

Welfare Dependency – Instead of empowering people to be self-sufficient, the welfare system traps them in cycles of government dependence while punishing those who work hard.

The government isn’t inefficient. It’s straight up predatory.

Why Does This Happen?

It happens by design.

Governments don’t serve people. They serve themselves. Politicians and bureaucrats don’t work for you, they work for their own power, enrichment and re-election. And the best way to keep that power? Keep you distracted. Keep you working. Keep you subservient. Keep you believing the lie that taxes are “your duty” while they steal your life one second and one dollar at a time.

And when a government runs out of money because they have no incentive to be responsible or accountable? They print more. Which makes your dollar worth less. Which raises prices. Which means you pay even more tax on inflated prices just to live.

It’s a rigged system, and we are the pawns.

Taxation and Tyranny is a Repetitive Cycle

The Roman Empire

The Roman Empire was one of history’s greatest civilizations, and it fell in part due to its thirst for taxation. As the empire expanded, so did its government and military costs. Initially, Rome thrived under a relatively low-tax system that encouraged productivity and growth. However, as corruption and bureaucracy grew, so did the need for revenue. Roman emperors resorted to excessive taxation, which crippled the middle class and small farmers.

Tax collection became increasingly aggressive, and tax farmers, aka “private collectors”, seized property from those who couldn't pay. This led to widespread economic ruin, forcing the people of Rome into serfdom under wealthy landowners. The tax burden became so unbearable that some people fled Roman territories to escape it. The eventual collapse of Rome was not just due to external invasions but internal financial decay, and it’s a decay that reflects today’s governments that systematically drain their citizens dry.

The British Monarchy: Taxation and Rebellion

The British Empire followed a similar pattern. For centuries, the monarchy imposed heavy taxes on its subjects to fund wars, expansion, and royal extravagance. One of the most famous instances was the taxation of the American colonies in the 18th century.

The colonies were taxed without representation, leading to widespread anger. The Stamp Act, Sugar Act, and Tea Act placed financial burdens on colonists while offering them no voice in how their money was spent. This taxation without consent became a major catalyst for the American Revolution.

Ultimately, the colonies revolted, leading to the creation of the United States, a nation founded on the principle that excessive taxation is tyranny. Yet, ironically, modern governments, including the U.S., have since implemented taxation levels that would make King George III envious.

The Truth They Don’t Want You to See

Taxation is the deletion of half your working life. The government takes your hours and days and weeks and months and years and erases them. Everyone says you need to make the most of this single life we have on earth, yet here we are, obediently and passively giving half of our lives to a small group of people that don’t even know we exist.

Every government in history grows until it consumes everything. Rome taxed its citizens into ruin before collapsing. The British monarchy taxed its colonies into revolution. And today, modern governments are no different. They just lie better and use softer language to disguise their theft.

But here’s what they don’t tell you: You are not obligated to play their game. There are ways to fight back, to reclaim control, and stop being a financial hostage.

How to Fight Back – The Action Plan

If you’re not mad yet, you should be, and that anger means it’s time to get to work.

1. Legally Reduce Your Tax Burden – Become self employed. Learn every legal tax loophole, deduction, and credit available. The wealthy do it. Corporations do it. You should too.

2. Opt-Out of Their Systems – Explore alternative income streams, crypto, decentralized finance, and offshore strategies to minimize government theft.

3. Stop Voting for Thieves – Politicians lie, but they need your compliance. Stop supporting candidates who push for more taxes and bigger government.

4. Spread Awareness – Governments thrive on ignorance. The more people wake up, the harder it becomes for them to maintain control.

5. Demand Accountability – Hold local and national leaders responsible. Make noise. Pressure them to justify every cent they take from you.

6. Minimize Your Reliance on Government – The less you depend on them, the less control they have over you. Build independent wealth, grow your own food, create communities that don’t need bureaucrats.

7. Teach the Next Generation – Schools won’t teach kids to think critically about government power. But you can. And if possible, pull your kids out of public education – they’re little more than government indoctrination camps.

Will DOGE make a difference?

Since coming into his second term, Donald Trump, along with Elon Musk, have taken on the task of ending government waste, abuse, and fraud with DOGE, the Department of Government Efficiency. While the name might seem like a joke, it underscores a serious point: government inefficiency is so blatant and out of control that the world’s most successful businessman has put his wealth and reputation on the line to fix it.

Whether or not they’re successful remains to be seen, but I give them full props for simply trying. Government has become such a colossal machine of corruption, it’s admirable for anyone to stand up to it.

The Final Thought

Image your life if you only had to work 2.5 days a week but got paid the same. Imagine working 5 days a week but getting paid double. Imagine your life if you weren’t forced to give up half your income. Imagine a world where the government actually had to earn your money and trust rather than stealing and abusing it.

They want you obedient. They want you afraid. They want you to believe you have no choice.

But you do.

What if millions of people simply said no? What if entire communities started building parallel economies, refusing to comply with financial slavery? Governments rely on mass compliance - if enough people resist, their system crumbles.

You have more power than they want you to believe.

The question is: what are you going to do about it?